So you want to join a coven?

Help! I can't find a group!

One of the first questions many new Wiccans want answered is "Where can I find a coven to join?" It's hard starting out on your own, with nothing but books and intuition to tell you that you're going in the right direction.

However, covens generally don't advertise for new members. We tell everyone the same thing: those who want to join a coven should go to a few public events, join e-mail lists, to get out there and talk to people. Sometimes people will even fall back on the old saying "When the student is ready, the teacher will appear".

That's a frustrating thing to hear when you're just starting out, because you don't know what to do or where to look. You might also be tempted to join the first group you find, which can lead to problems. There is no regulatory board saying who can call themselves Pagan or Witch, and though most people you meet will meet are on the up-and-up, there are some bad apples out there. So we've made up this just for those seeking a group to tell you what to look for, and what to avoid.

A Note for those Under 18

If you're under 18 and want to join a coven, we have some bad news: very few covens will initiate those that are under 18 at all. Some will initiate you, but only with parental permission. This is partly for legal reasons. They can be sued for teaching you a religion without approval from your parents or legal guardians.

Be immediately suspicious of any coven that will initiate you if you aren't 18 years of age, or that doesn't at least require that your parents know that you're joining. They may not have any ulterior motives, but they are at the very least being irresponsible.

What to do until you turn 18? There are some suggestions at the end of this pamphlet for alternatives to coven training. Remember, covens are not the end-all and be-all of Wiccan practice.

The Commitment

Becoming a member of a Coven is a huge commitment, both spiritually, and time-wise. Different groups will require different levels of commitment, but the general idea is that your coven becomes like a second family. Coven members stick up for one another, work magic and do ritual together, and hang out together. You have to make sure that you are joining a group of people you are comfortable doing all of these things with. The group also has to make sure that you will be able to work with them. It is not normal for any group to initiate you without a period where you get to know one another first. Be wary.

You should join a coven with the idea that you will be spending a good part of your life with these people. Don't join a coven that you plan to leave in a few years, "just to get some experience". There's a lot of time and effort involved in becoming a coven member and in training one. It's not in your best interest to spend a lot of time somewhere you don't plan to stay. Some covens will say that you cannot come back if you ever decide to leave the group. All of this should be spelled out for you before you make the commitment to join.

That said, no coven should ask you to bind yourself to the group for your entire lifetime. You will not be asked to give up friends and family who do not belong to the select group. You can leave any coven at any time if you no longer belong there. Anyone who would hold someone in a coven against their will, or take them from friends and family is not running a coven but a cult. If this happens to you, get out and don't look back.

Questions to ask

A coven is a group of people of like mind and tradition, coming together to study, and in some cases work magic. Before you join any coven, you should know the following things:

Do I like the people in this group? This may seem a trite question, but as pointed out above, you'll be spending a lot of time with these people. If you don't like them for whatever reason, don't join. Even if this is the only coven in your area. Even if you despair of ever finding another group. Do not join a group of people you can't get along with. It will cause you more problems than it will solve.
Do I agree with the religious beliefs of this group? Yes, they may be Wiccan, but within Wicca there's a lot of room for variation in beliefs. For example, if you really feel an affinity with the Greek Gods, you wouldn't join a group that follows the Egyptian pantheon. If you feel that your spiritual leanings lie elsewhere, keep looking.
Am I comfortable with the rituals of this group? A good example of this is groups that practice their rituals "skyclad", which is just another word for "naked". They do this for a variety of reasons - because they feel that clothing can impede the energy of a group, or because it's a symbol of freedom, for example. If you don't feel comfortable taking your clothes off in ritual, don't join a coven that practices nude. It's just that simple. This goes for any other rules and regulations. If there's something that really bothers you about the group, it's better not to join.

On Secrecy

Traditionally, a coven is a very secretive group of people. When you join, it's pretty standard that you have to take a vow not to reveal the names of the members of your group to outsiders once you've joined. You may not even know the names of every coven member before you at least commit to the group for "a year and a day" of study. In some places being a "witch" can cause problems with family or work, and some people would rather keep their beliefs a secret.

Before you join a group may also decide to keep secret some of its beliefs and rituals - things like the specific names of Gods, for example. All the same, you should have a general idea of how the group works, what tradition they follow, where they've been trained, and what they expect of you when you join.

You may be asked to swear an oath not to reveal the names of your fellow coveners, or the rituals that you've been taught. This is also fairly standard.

While secrecy on the whole is not a bad idea, there is immense potential for abuse of the secrecy that happens within a coven. If there is illegal activity, sexual abuse, rape, or anything else going on within a coven, get out, and don't hesitate to take yourself to the nearest police station, oath or no oath. We tell our kids not to believe "It's our little secret" from an adult that's molesting them. We should hold the same standard with abuse of adults.

The rule above all is - what are you comfortable with

If you're thinking of joining a group that you don't feel you know enough about, or that you're uncomfortable with for any reason, the bottom line is, don't join. It may take a while for you to find the right group. That's okay. This is a major life commitment, and not something to be done lightly.

Other options

If you can't find a group you like, don't panic. It's completely possible to have an active, fulfilling spiritual life without ever joining a coven. I practiced alone for 5 years before joining a group. There are still lots of options for people who are interested in studying Wicca and other Pagan Paths without becoming a member of a formal group.

Solitary Practice: When you're first starting, it may be better to get a few books, read more, and practice on your own for a while. By doing this, you not only demonstrate a commitment to learning to any group that you might join, but you also get a feel for the different beliefs and practices that are out there. When the right group comes along, you'll know what you're looking for.
Study Groups: If you have friends that are interested in Wicca, why not start a study group? Read a book and discuss it, or pick a topic, research it and share what you know. If you don't know enough people to get a group together, and you have internet access, try finding an e-mail list or online study group. There are lots out there.
Public Gatherings: Public Gatherings aren't just for networking to find a coven. You can learn from them as well. Check bulletin boards at your local pagan shop, or ask the store staff if they know of any meetings in the area that are open to the public.

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